Gay Baby Names You Shouldn't Give Your Child

Now don’t be condescending and say that gayness is bad for the health, let’s take this as objective as possible. So you’re having a baby and you are now looking for baby names preferably names that do not sound gay since you just found out you are having a boy. If you are not black, make sure that your baby is not named Lebron or something with an apostrophe such as D’Onfre. Those names are cute sure but please, leave it to the people in the hood yo!

Now here are the names you should definitely avoid to make sure that your baby boy has a normal non-gay, non-brokeback life. Disclaimer: There is nothing wrong with gayness really but if you do not want it to happen to your child, please pay heed to the definitions of baby names below.

Baby Names That Are Totally, Seriously Gay (Or Potentially Harmful)

Gaylord – if it has the word gay in it, it’s probably gay. And to think he is the Lord of the Gays. Move ovah gay guyths, Gaylordth is running the show!

Oscar Roy – now this one’s a redneck who’s closet gay. He probably won’t be friends with Billy Joe.

Gary –alright Gary can fly as a boy’s name but if little Gary starts liking filming and wearing black turtleneck shirts at a young age, I’d be happy to say “I told you so”.

Nigel –now this sounds like the creative type - gay creative type to be more specific. If that is what you are going for, he might become one of the best photographers in the world next to Lagerfeld.

Magnus –son of a volcanic eruption and pseudo superhero. Now this name is alright but be sure not to call him Maggie because that is uber gay.

Jaden –that’s just gay.

Seth –don’t even think about it.

If you name your child any of these names except for Magnus, he will definitely be bullied by Joey, Billy, Ralph, or Mike. (This is not proven though, just basing it on my personal experience.)